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Remember the infamous leaked Vikram S. Pandit memo we wrote to
you about awhile back that suddenly saw Citigroup Inc. (NYSE: C) turn a profit on nothing more than
vapors?
Stay tuned: We're about to see more of these puffed-up profits. JPMorgan Chase &
Co. (NYSE: JPM), Bank of America Corp. (NYSE: BAC) and PNC Financial Services Inc. (NYSE: PNC) will reportedly be
booking as much as $56 billion in windfall profits using similar financial chicanery in the months
ahead.
Sadly, millions of investors will likely interpret this as a sign that the U.S.
financial sector is once again a viable "profit" play - when the reality is that Wall Street hasn't learned a
single darned thing from the financial crisis and is up to its old tricks once again.
This time around, the biggest U.S. banks - including JPMorgan, BofA, and PNC - will
employ an obscure accounting rule to magically transform the "toxic debt" that they obtained from such "zombie
banks" as Wachovia Corp., Countrywide Financial Corp., National City Corp., and Washington Mutual Inc. (OTC: WAMUQ)
into actual income.
Yes, you heard me correctly - income. It makes me furious. This is kind of a corporate
accounting version of "the dog ate my homework." Only this time around, the joke is on us - the taxpayers - since
we're the ones who are bailing these bozos out.
Called "accretable yield," these mega banks will book income on loans that have
"reduced credit quality" by recognizing - hang with me on this one, it's tough to believe - the value of the bonds
on their balance sheets and the cash flow those securities are expected to earn. Please understand, we're not
talking about cash that's already been earned, and not cash in the bank ... we're talking about cash flow those
banks are expected to
earn.
Talk about making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. This is an
obscene abuse of the
accounting system - whether it's legal or not. No wonder nobody ever went broke using accrual accounting.
These guys need to be forced to recognize the money they have actually earned - not the amount they can
account for using
clever financial trickery.
To understand just how absurd this actually is, let's take a close look at JPMorgan
Chase - which alone reportedly stands to reap as much as $29 billion in windfall income. It started when JPMorgan
literally bought WaMu from the dumpster (technically acting as something called "the receiver") last year for $1.9
billion, and was allowed to mark the toxic debt that came with it down to "fair value" - which was 25% less than
the $118.2 billion it was officially carried on the books for, or $88.65 billion. But now, the bank says that
those same debts may appreciate by some $29.1 billion over the life of the loans. That's before taxes and expenses,
of course.
According to Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB) rules, buyers such as JP
Morgan Chase carry these loans on their books at fair value. Then, as borrowers repay those loans they are allowed
to book profits. Therefore, by keeping the value of the loans low, the profits on such a small base are obviously
king-sized.
The incentive, as I noted when I reviewed a similar tax loophole regarding BofA's
Countrywide Financial purchase back in February, is to write down the value of the loans so aggressively that they
are practically worthless. That way, when the buyer folds them into its business, the returns are huge.
JPMorgan's spokesman, Thomas Kelly, told Bloomberg News that "the accretion is driven by prevailing interest rates." That said, JPMorgan said
first quarter gains from the WaMu loans resulted in $1.26 billion in interest income and made it possible for
the bank to reap additional potential income of $29.1 billion.
The other factor that's not being talked about - at least openly - is the impact that
an economic turnaround could have. You see, the eroding economy contributed to the erosion in the value of the
securities. Conversely, when U.S. economic activity picks back up, we could see an accompanying improvement in the
value of these securities being carried on the company's balance sheet.
In an April 22 interview with Bloomberg, Wells Fargo & Co. (NYSE: WFC)
Chief Executive Officer Howard I. Atkins said that "to the extent that the customers' experience is better or we
can modify the loans, and the
loans become more current, that could help recapture some of the write-down."
That will lead to massive "profits."
In other words, if the government is successful in reducing mortgage rates and the
housing markets stabilize, the banks get to make up entirely new numbers and "bring more of [the loans] current"
which is bank speak for being able to assign whatever brand new values they can to the very same toxic slime these
same banks wrote down only months ago during the purchasing process.
Naturally - and I think you can see where I'm going with this - the more these guys
wrote down these securities as part of the acquisition process, the higher they can write them "up" in the months
ahead - and the more powerful the "profit" surge we'll see.
Not surprisingly, JPMorgan wouldn't comment when I called - nor would any of the other
big banks - so it's especially difficult to get to the bottom of exactly when this will come to a head and how much
of an outsized "manufactured" profit we could be looking at.
But we can guess as to their motivation:
Now for the trillion-dollar question: What can we do about this?
Sadly, when it comes to changing the legally approved accounting nonsense component,
the answer right now is "not much."
While an investor wanting to capture this "growth" could buy shares in the banks or in
any one of a half a dozen financial exchange-traded funds (ETFs), I think a better choice is to buy LEAP options on
each of the banks. Not only are long-term options frequently mis-priced, but the risks for any investor buying them
are strictly limited to the capital used to buy them and the returns can be proportionately higher for options
buyers than for the straight-stock alternatives available at the moment.
And those profits are real enough for me - even without accretion.